Wicked Pieces of Life
by Symbol of forever
Summary: A collection of one-shots and drabbles in the Black on White universe. Rated to be safe. 5. chapter, meet the unwilling Snow White: Hichigo! requested by: Upsilion Forty-Two
1. Chapter 1

**Moa: How's life people? **

**I like to keep my promises and here it is: A collection of one-shots that occur in the Black on White realm. **

**Most of the one-shots are requests, but I will throw a few of my own ideas in the mix... And we'll see where this takes us. The one-shots will have little to no relevance to the plot, you can read them without reading the story and vice versa. **

**But for those who haven't read the story: It's basically about Hichigo going to Harry Potter-verse England. That's all you need to know.**

**But anyways; here's the first one, suggested by Loella.**

**Warning: Abuse of ****Kreacher**

**Disclaimer: I don't think anyone seriously thinks I own any of the characters...**

_**Life on Grimmauld place**_

**Meeting new faces...**

Walking in to the room felt like he had quite suddenly been lighted up by spotlights. Every god damned pair of eyes were directed straight at Hichigo, and not just a few eyebrows were raised. Hagrid had insisted that they traveled by what he would call normal methods so it was kind of late (and by late he meant midnight)... And by the looks of things they had busted in right in the middle of a meeting of some sort.

"So, this is him?" said a moody looking man with a... fake eye? How did that man walk in public?

"Yep, this is 'im!" Hagrid said while slamming Hichigo in the back with the force that could smash a table.

"But he is just a boy!"

Hichigo felt like slamming something in the face. _A mother hen_. He did _not_ need this. He tried to plaster on his face something that he hoped was a sheepish smile (he failed miserably).

"I'm actually older than what I look like."

The now dubbed Mother Hen was not pleased with his acting skills.

"Still! You can't be over seventeen! I had no idea Dumbledore was going to send a _child _to war."

Hichigo felt like banging his head to the nearest flat surface.

**Starting off good...**

"So, _Hichigo_, Dumbledore never mentioned what you can do, care to enlighten us?"

"I corrupt you're minds and eat you're souls."

"WHAT!"

**Making new friends...**

Hichigo felt, for the first time in hours, completely relaxed. He had been fed and most of the people were accepting his presence, now he could finally get some much needed sleep. He closed his eyes and fell asleep almost immediately.

*SNAP*

Hichigo bolted up and by reflex (which was most likely had it's origins in Ichigo) smacked the intruder through the wall.

Well, door in this case.

Hichigo rushed to the door and glared daggers at the thing in the pile of wooden splinters, how _dare_ this thing ruin his nap?

Sirius who had been passing by went unnoticed by Hichigo, who was trying to kill the pathetic creature with his glare.

Sirius watched blank-faced as Hichigo stormed back into his room and slammed the door (what was left of it, anyway...) behind him. Then he turned his stare to the unconscious Kreacher on the floor.

He just found new respect for this kid.

**Scaring people shitless...**

Ron yawned and scratched his unmentioned as he walked down the hall to the bathroom. Yes, he was making the most "perfect" picture in the world but no one sane was up and about at this hour.

He rounded a corner when suddenly his vision was blocked by... white? He blinked sleepily and stared into a smirking face (that was only inches away from his own face) with golden eyes and black scleras...

Wait, what?

The smirk on the face turned into an insane grin.

"Yo!"

""

**Moa; **

**And now we know why Moody doesn't trust him.**

**Review, people!**

**Oh, and in **

**Flamers will be burned by their own flames.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Moa: CREATURE FEATURE HAS A NEW ALBUM! **

***cough* sorry 'bout that... I just happen to love that band.**

**Aaanyways... Second chapter in "Wicked pieces of life"! Celebration here, thank you.**

**This one was suggested by Moonstar2015**

**Enjoy!**

**(O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o)**

Shopping was hell, Hichigo was sure of it. Not only did he have to walk around with a shopping cart and a list he had to carry all the shit back to the house!

Plus it was boring... Yeah, that was probably the reason.

Hichigo was currently in a totally normal muggle grocery shop, looking for milk... Pun intended. And if he hadn't been so used to weird stares he would have felt uncomfortable with all the eyes burning holes in his back.

Suddenly there was a tap on his shoulder, turning around he stared at the middle-aged woman looking at him sympathetically and holding out a 50 pound note... Wait, what?

"I hope you get better soon."

Was all the woman said before she turned around and walked away. Leaving behind a flabbergasted Hichigo with a 50 pound note.

Hichigo stared at the note. Had that woman just gave him _50 pounds_ because she thought he was sick?

Hichigo felt his trademark smile form on his lips when a plan started to fold out in his head.

**(O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o)**

Later that day you could find a poor looking teen-aged boy with thick sunglasses sitting in front of a shop with a sign in hand asking for money for an expensive operation.

Back at Grimmauld place Mrs Weasley searched in wain for the missing milk.

**(O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o)**

**Moa: He earned quite nicely like that.**

**Remember to review and send me your requests for more one-shots!**

**Flames will burn down my house... Please don't force me to move.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Moa:... Don't ask don't tell, darlings...**

**This is what happens when you mix me, coffee withdrawal and a request I don't know what to do with.**

**Warnings: Crack with a capital C... Consider yourself warned.**

**Kind of suggested by Formerlyrandomreviewer... I might do youre request again if I have time.**

**(O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o)**

Hichigo walked like a drunk singer

When he suddenly got a boo-boo on his finger

When the boo-boo didn't stop

He walked up to a cop

The had a body like pop tart

And was looking like a tard

Then Hichigo walked sexily down one random street when quite suddenly a Veela walked into him, litelary.

"Oh my God, touching you has made me madically fall in love with you!" said Hichigo.

"OMG, Me too!" said the Veela. And then they walked hand-in-hand to watch a unicorn shit out a rainbow.

"So intence..." said Zangetsu.

And so the nyan-cop flew to his shelf

To watch cookies fuck themselves

And in a time not long ago, in a galaxy far, far away

A girl is ramming her head in her desk.

**(O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o)**

**Moa:**

**.**

**.**

**.**

***Shoots herself***

**Please... My brain has melted... Why has it melted... **


	4. Chapter 3 part 2

**Moa: Got an sudden surge of inspiration and I wanted to make an... explanation for the previous chapter XD**

**Warnings: Can be considered crack... Not that bad.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach and/or HP Grimmjow would be screwed... Literally.**

**Suggested (again) by Formelyrandomreviewer**

**(O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o)**

Hichigo shot out of bed with a gasp (he didn't scream mind you. Hichigo _never_ screamed) he had just had his life's worst nightmare.

First, he had done a very bad imitation of Johnny Depp*. Then he had gone up to a cop to complain of a _splinter _on his _finer, _but the cop's body had suddenly turned into a pop-tart and he had started to poop out a rainbow and sing copcopcopcop.

Hichigo didn't even want to remember the rest of the dream but he was pretty sure it had involved a unicorn. And a girl.

Hichigo shuddered and got out of the bed, fully intended on going out to take some fresh air.

**(O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o)**

Hichigo was pretty sure he was lost. No scratch that, he _was_ lost. He had walked down a random street and before he knew it his legs had taken him to god-knows-where.

Luckily there was a cop a few meters away so Hichigo decided to simply ask for directions, ignoring the fact he thought the cop looked familiar...

"Excuse me, but do ya kno..."

Hichigo cut his sentence short when the cop turned around. Was that a _pop-tart_? The cop opened his... _It's_ mouth and let out a long stream of copcopcopcopcops and started... jumping away. Hichigo stood frozen on the spot. He was quite rudely interrupted from his staring when someone literally walked into him.

Hichigo was just about to punch the poor soul when he felt his whole world turn into a mushy pink mess. Hot _damn_ the girl was beautiful!

He was in love...

Wait...

He was a Hollow for Pete's sake!

"Excuse me," said the girl and Hichigo told the rational thoughts to screw off. "But I'm looking for my pony... Have you seen it?"

Hichigo could feel his brains melting out of his ear.

"No..."

"Then you'll help me find it!"

With that the girl dragged Hichigo along the way... And Hichigo was all the time drooling over the girl's boo... Wait, what?

"Look! There it is!"

Hichigo forced himself to look at the direction the girl and felt what was left of his brain explode... There was a _unicorn_ that was pooping out a _rainbow_ and there was this guy that was filming it while having some kind of seizure... Mumbling "so intense" and "double rainbow all the way".

Hichigo didn't care if the girl was hot. He was leaving. NOW.

**(O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o)**

Behind a tree Moody was snickering while putting his wand back into his pocket.

**(O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o)**

**Moa: Hichigo drowned a bottle of vodka afterwards. To help with the mental scars. **

***Is it spelled with two p:s or one?**

**Review and send your requests! **


	5. Chapter 4

**Moa: Fayfan wanted more memorable moments (similar to the first chapter) and that's exactly what she will get! So here it is!**

**Requested by Fayfan.**

**Disclaimer: ...**

**Warning(s): Usage of gay-jokes.**

**READ PLEASE: I finally made a Deviant Art account :D All my stories will be posted there _and_ now I take requests for art too! **

**Here's the link to my account, just delete the spaces: http : / symbol – of – forever . deviantart . com /**

**(O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o)**

_Life at Grimmauld's place part 2_

Having cultural shocks...

This was bad, Hichigo realized in horror one afternoon when he visited the Black's library for the first time. He was currently holding a book in his hands that he had randomly picked up from one of the many shelves.

While it was true that most of his knowledge had it's origins from Ichigo, but all the information from Ichigo's brain hadn't been transferred to Hichigo's. He was able to speak English yes...

But clearly the western alphabet hadn't been transferred from one brain to another.

The inevitable happens...

"Hey, what's up with you're eyes, mate?"

"FRED!"

"What, I can't ask questions anymore?"

"THAT'S THE TENTH TIME YOU'RE ASKING HIM THAT!"

Overhearing things you don't want to hear...**(occurs a little bit later, when Harry has already arrived)**

"Ow, be gentle!"

"Stop whining and take it like a man!"

"But it hurts."

"Look, if I don't do this it's only going to hurt more, ok?"

"FUCK! Don't push it in deeper!"

"... I barely moved."

"It still hurts... OW!"

"Ok, this is the last one..."

"Just be quick!"

At this point a very embarrassed Hichigo decided that he really didn't want to know what Potter and his red headed friend were up to, so he left the place quickly.

Inside the room Harry put a rectangular box down and turned to his whining friend.

"Now, what have we learned?"

"Never to open strange boxes with a label _Automatic __acupuncture__ needles_"

**Moa: Bet you thought about something else you pervs... **

**I know the main story is awfully late... But I had a slight writer's block there, so it should be up soon.**

**As always: Review and send your requests! And from now on, requests for art are very welcome!**

**I'm running out of lame flame jokes so just don't do it.**


	6. Chapter 5

**Moa: Black on White has 70 reviews! Guys, I love you! *is getting all exited about some reviews...***

**To a more important matter, I've been horribly ignoring some of your requests and I'm going to fix that now.**

**I don't own Bleach or Harry Potter blah blah blah requested by: Upsilion Forty-Two**

**Enjoy!**

**(O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o)**

It was starting to become a reoccurring pattern.

Hichigo would walk somewhere, too absorbed in his own thoughts to even look where he was going, and when he finally did lift his head up from his little la-la land he would notice that he was horribly and utterly lost. Sometimes he would find his way back in a few days by wandering around aimlessly, sometimes he would swallow his pride and ask for help.

This time neither of those would work, he had somehow ended up in a forest.

Now you might be asking: How can one wander off from London to a random forest. Well, thats one damn good question.

Hichigo was walking in some direction in hope of finding some kind of civilization when he quite suddenly heard a sound coming from a bush. You know, that kind of rattle that is a "must be" in any cliché horror film.

Hichigo didn't stop walking, nor did he turn around to see what it was.

rustle rustle

This time Hichigo glanced backwards wondering if something was following him.

Rustle Rustle

That was already a little bit too close for comfort, Hichigo walked faster.

RUSTLE RUSTLE... RUSTLE

Hichigo wasn't scared, he just felt like running like his ass was on fire.

While Hichigo sprinted through the forest he didn't notice the multiple pairs of eyes that were following him and nor did he notice that these eyes were in fact following him. What he didn't notice but what he really should have noticed was a tree. He ran smack into it (if somebody had asked, which nobody did, he would have denied ever running into a tree... ever).

When Hichigo opened his eyes (he had closed them at some point. Not a good idea) he was lying on the ground and his face was inches away from a...

What, the fuck, was that.

It looked like a horse... One that had died, been buried and brought back to life with questionable success. And it had bat wings. On it's back. And it was most definitely nuzzling his stomach.

More off these creatures were appearing from the depths of the forest, all of them gathered around him nuzzling, cooing and even _licking_ him. And to Hichigo's horror it wasn't just these strange dead horses. Something akin to _pixies_ were hugging his hair and some strange furballs were quite contently snuggling into his side.

Even more strange creatures were appearing from the forest and Hichigo was soon covered in all kinds of colorful, slimy, furry and creepy creatures.

Hichigo was at loss of what to do.

"Ummm... Guys?"

Every single pair (well in some cases there were more than a pair...) of eyes were suddenly focused on him, eyes that were shining with worship.

"Could someone... help me find a way back... to London... Please?" Hichigo _wasn't_ whimpering. He was _NOT._

Then he felt himself lite, still lying on his back mind you, an carried off into the same direction from where he had come from.

**(O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o)**

"Okay, thanks I guess... bye"

The creatures had left him at the edge of the forest and now Hichigo fully intended to walk to the nearest tow, take a train and ride it back to London. Alone. Sadly the creatures didn't think so.

Right after the first few steps Hichigo heard a tell tale rustling behind him, he turned around to find the creatures right behind him.

"Shoo!" He tried to kick them away but they just dodged and walked even closer. Hichigo walked a few steps backwards.

The creatures were following him.

This time Hichigo could admit it, he whimpered.

**(O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o_O_o)**

**Moa: Poor Hichigo, he must hate me at this point... But torturing him is so _fun_!**

**Review guys! Let's torture our favorite Hollow some more! MUHAHAHAAA!**

**Hichigo:... help.**


End file.
